The Day I Cut Off My Wart with a Pair of Scissors... The Sequel!


It’s no secret that I hate blood. I have necrophobia. Through the years, my fear has evolved into a selective one.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m not a sucker for gore.

(By the way, the warthog pictured is a proxy. I may or may not change this.)


It counts that I’m a monstrous wrestling fan. It was like yesterday when I saw ECW’s One Night Stand. It was freaking awesome! The match between Masato Tanaka and Mike Awesome tore the Hammerstein Ballroom apart! That prompted me to watch vintage ECW via the internet.

So why is this relevant?

When I was in college, I had a pretty sick wart at the back of my left ear. I tried to pinch it like a pimple but the more I tried to take it out, the more it grows and I was growing sick of it! So one shower later, I got a pair of scissors and cut the wart good! The pain was excruciating! I watch my blood flowed out of my body, mixed up with water, and go down the drain. Sure, it will sting, but I’ll probably drench this off with water and I’ll use alcohol to sterilize myself.

End of the problem right?

My instinct to put alcohol on the wound made my showering extremely crappy. Imagine me, inside a shower, with a towel draped in my wet body, getting treated by mommy. A neighbour came over and I finally understood that because ears don’t have bones, it bleeds insanely when bloodied. Alcohol also forces the flow of blood to commence which explains why the blood won’t stop coming out of my body for five full minutes. I went to school a mere hour later and then I went to the clinic to get my wounds treated.

I was around 19 when that happened.

Fast forward to almost a decade later!

A pretty ugly wart spawned near my elbow. I‘ve hated the wart since I first saw it. It irritated me. Why is this “thing” stuck in my skin!?! I am going insane thinking of ways to take it out! Again I pinched and pinched and pinched it to the point that it became ugly. I had nightmares of me frying the wart with a cigarette or a flat iron! I HAD TO GET THIS OUT! At around 3pm, I jumped out of bed, went to the loon, took the same scissors I used to cut the wart in my ear, and cut the wart out of my elbow! I started to cut it slowly but it was stubborn and it seems like I was subduing inevitable pain. So thinking I was some kind of hardcore moron holding a flaming cheese grater, I sliced the wart out of my body with one agonizing sliver… unsuccessfully. I chopped it out but there was still a part of it fused to my skin and I had to do it again. At this point, blood started to flow out! In my head Joey Styles’ OH MY GAWD was running on a loop! The blood on my elbow made me prompt for my inner Sabu, Sandman, Raven, Tommy Dreamer, Tazz, The Dudleys, Mick Foley, RVD, and Terry Funk! I scoured for Betadine to eliminate the tetanus and walking seems to be a problem because it seems like I need to realign my balance.

Yes, I said that. Funny how a small piece of skin could make your arms floopy and your movement squiggly.

But afterwards I felt fine.

I happily reported to Cindy the thing I did… with the attitude like an astronaut that just circled the moon! The response I got was a mere “Eww” and then she said that warts tend to increase in numbers if not properly cleared. She made me feel like I’m a cross between a risk taker and an idiot.

I choose to be treated as both! HAHA!

But wait…

Does this mean I’m going to deal with more warts?

Game over.

5 Awesome Critics:

dude diba ang necrophilia yun yung jinujugjug mo ang patay?

May 4, 2010 at 10:44 PM comment-delete

dammit I wrote necrophilia instead of necrophobia.

i will change this.

thanks jorge!

May 4, 2010 at 11:05 PM comment-delete

tapang mo na a.. di ba takot ka sa dugo?

May 5, 2010 at 12:58 PM comment-delete

for some insane reason, i hate blood when I see it on other people.

ewan... some shit like that.

May 5, 2010 at 2:43 PM comment-delete

Bloody hell! Necrophobia has nothing to do with blood.

Okay, phobia is synonymous to fear. But necro means dead. Necro-, Thanato-, and Thantophobia all refer to the same fear: fear of death.

HEMO-, HEMA-, or HEMATOPHOBIA is the fear of blood.

Get your phobias right. You'll have Rosa Rosal tossing and turning in her grave. She's dead, right?

Anonymous
May 9, 2010 at 11:43 PM comment-delete

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