Space Jam's Most Valuable Players



I got to check out this article where they checked out the box scores of the players that participated in Space Jam.

Space Jam is a 1996 live action/animated film featuring Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Bill Murray, Wayne Knight, the voice of Danny DeVito, and a bunch of Looney Tunes characters. It also featured one of the best collection of songs created for a soundtrack.

Who can ever forget R Kelly’s epic single I Believe I Can Fly?

Checking out the stats, I can do a list of the top individual guys to see action in the movie.





By the way, I have to thank Francis Villanueva for sharing the link and the crazy person who thought it was a good idea to watch the film and tabulate the stats.

GAME STARTS NOW!


TEAM OVERVIEW


TOON SQUAD:
They basically got their offense solely via isolation. They lived and died with Michael Jordan. Jordan basically ball-hogged the ball and had to resort to trickery to inspire his teammates. But even with that the Toon Squad can’t defend. They should have lost because they turned the ball over 15 times compared to the Monstars’ single turnover. Bugs and Lola Bunny were able to support Jordan but it’s just because MJ is flanked by defenders. They also scored through broken plays. The only thing great about them is that they never gave up especially when the game was on the line. Bill Murphy and the character Wayne Knight portrayed proved important. They also had great clutch players.


MONSTARS:
Even if fouls were rendered useless and guns were allowed in the playing court, not getting any rebounds is a mortal sin. I guess this is why they lost the game. Also if we can have info with regards to points off turnovers, then it would be awesome. The Monstars, coached and managed by “Moron Mountain” theme park owner Mister Swackhammer, is a defensive savvy squad. They swarmed the Toons with 14 steals compared to the Toon Squad’s 1 (I thought the Daffy Duck steal was an infraction rather than a great swipe). Anyway, they played well in the first two quarters but screwed up afterwards. They also had zero support (literally) from their bench players as they were clobbered in this department, 8 to 0. For a bunch of guys that zapped out the talents of professional basketball players, they were clueless on what to do in crunch time.

And with Hakeem Olajuwon, John Stockton, Karl Malone, Clyde Drexler, Dominique Wilkins, and perhaps even Shaquille O’Neal, why the fuck would these guys get the talents of...

SHAWN BRADLEY???

TALENT-ZAPPING FAIL!!!


THE TOP 5


5 BUGS BUNNY / TOON SQUAD  
The co-captain of the Toon Squad acted as playmaker and also as motivational speaker for the group. He did his best impersonation of Scottie Pippen and he finished the game with 10 points and 3 assists. He had four turnovers though which is due to the impressive ball pressure of the Monstars. 





4 NAWT / MONSTARS
Gaining the abilities of then-Charlotte Hornet Muggsy Bogues, Nawt was one of two players in their squad to end up scoreless. He was however an effective playmaker as he finished the game with a game-high 6 assists. He also swiped the ball 4 times and was extremely helpful in subduing the backcourt-heavy Toon Squad. 





3 BUPKUS / MONSTARS
He was one of the lucky two who got their abilities from a true NBA superstar. He dispatched his Patrick Ewing-ness perfectly and finished the game with 34 points in 15-out-of-16 shooting. He also had 2 steals for the squad and what’s fascinating and non-Pat Ewing like was his well-targeted triples. He finished the game 4-of-4 from beyond the arc.




2 MICHAEL JORDAN / TOON SQUAD
Yes. You saw it. I’m the bad guy but hear me out. Sure, Jordan paced all scorers with 44 points (22-of-22 from the field) but that was the only stat line he contributed. He was a well-known defensive specialist in the NBA but sadly that part of his awesomeness was thrown out during production. He also had long bombs but never three-point conversions. With the defense clearly locked on him, he couldn’t find his teammates. But at least his clutch abilities are seen in this game... as it should.




1 POUND / MONSTARS
I guess this can be one of those outlets where Charles Barkley can brag that he one-upped His Airness. Pound provided the muscle, hustle, and bustle for the Toon Squad (I can’t believe that Shawn Bradley’s character Blanko is still soft... even in a make believe environment). He was the team’s leading scorer with 37 points. He was 100 percent from the field (16-16) and was 5-for-5 from the three point area. Sure, he had a turnover which was crucial because it ignited the Toon Squad’s second half run (and also because of the “magic potion”) but what made him number one is his six steals compared to Jordan’s zero.



If you check out these stats, one would wonder why the Toon Squad won. The Monstars were much more fluid and the Toon Squad All-Stars only did things in flare. Michael Jordan is the only great thing in the group because there was nothing much to scout on the Toons’ side. Jordan had to concentrate on offense since there is no player capable of doing damage.

There was controversy surrounding this that Marvin the Martian manipulated the results via his Martian abilities.

Become a box office hit is a critic’s nightmare. The movie was a hit because Michael Jordan was the most famous athlete in the world then (and even now perhaps). It also had the most enjoyable cartoon characters not affiliated with Walt Disney.  

Game over.

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