Wrestlemania 27 Preview: John Morrison versus Dolph Ziggler (and others)

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How can this be wrestling???

There are two Trash TV stars in Wrestlemania 27.

One is The Miz, who I hope wins.

Ugh.

And then there’s Snooki.

I brace myself to whatever train wreck this match emits.





3 vs 3: JOHN MORRISON, TRISH STRATUS, AND SNOOKI vs DOLPH ZIGGLER, MICHELLE McCOOL, AND LAYLA (w/ VICKIE GUERRERO)


JOHN MORRISON’S ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA 27
I thought for sure JoMo will have some type of main event capacity but I never thought I would be seeing this. He should have won the Royal Rumble and he could have won the Elimination Chamber but I guess the Prince of Parkour needs to wait another year to strike the big gold in his waist. He has since made his mark as the future of the company dating back to his exposure in the reality show Tough Enough. He debuted to top-tier status in the WWE as part of the Tag Team MNM (Mercury-Nitro-Melina) as Johnny Nitro alongside Joey Mercury and real-life girlfriend Melina (although he did appear in Raw before that as Eric Bischoff’s “buddy” Johnny Blaze). They had a memorable match against the Hardy Boyz and against Paul London and Brian Kendrick before disbanding. After their split, he moved to the ECW brand where he was hailed champion. He changed his name to John Morrison and then he called himself a bunch of names like the Tuesday Night Delight, The Shaman of Sexy, and others. After his reign as ECW champ, he joined forces with The Miz and became many-time champs, with their most popular feud against DX. After their split he moved to Smackdown where he was featured in a lot of 4-star matches. He moved to Raw after the draft and it took a while for him to develop into a threat he now is.


DOLPH ZIGGLER’S ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA 27
He did a lot of things before evolving to what he now is. He used his real name Nic Nemeth and acted as caddy to Chavo Guerrero during his Kerwin White gimmick (an American-loving Latino who has since denounced his Latin roots). He was also part (and the only WWE-bound member) of the infamous group of cheesy cheerleaders called The Spirit Squad as Nicky where they once reigned as tag team champions (using the Freebird/Demolition rule). He became part of the main event scene when the group battled and lost to Degeneration X. Returning to the training grounds, it took him a while before he could return to the main roster. His name Dolph Ziggler was a take from Boogie Nights’ Dirk Diggler. He was an enhancement talent before becoming Vickie Guerrero’s boyfriend. His rise to fame started when he faced Vickie’s ex Edge in a bunch of title matches where Vickie would use her authority to give the advantage to Dolph. They have since moved to Raw following their exile from Smackdown.   


THE BATTLE
Oh did I forget about the Divas? No... I didn’t. I would have booked this match as a one-on-one bout. But okay...


THE DIVAS’ ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA 27
Trish Stratus is returning to promote the comeback of Tough Enough. She is an elite woman wrestler and unlike Moolah and Luna Vachon, aside from her wrestling skills she has good looks. Her matches with Lita were awesome and she usually returns to the WWE every now and then since her retirement. Michelle McCool is a former Diva Search contestant and while she didn’t win, her long legs and tolerable wrestling skills make her one of the premier divas of the current generation. Last year, she married Mark Calloway aka The Undertaker so she’ll likely keep her job for a long amount of time. She is now part of the duo called Laycool (or Team Flawless) alongside former Miami Heat cheerleader Layla El. Unlike Michelle, Layla did win her version of the Diva Search and while her wrestling skills are passable, as a combo (a la Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie) they generate severe crowd heat. However none of those divas can get the heat that Vickie Guerrero generates. The wife of the late great and former WWE champ Eddie Guerrero, arenas always boo her entry to the ring following her hook up with Edge and now Dolph Ziggler. She is the only diva without an entrance theme but her “Excuse Me” alone gets the crowd into an automatic frenzy.

If you want to know Snooki, see Jersey Shore.


THE BATTLE... REALLY
Unless Snooki busts a couple of Parkour moves in the ring I can’t see this match turning into a wonderful event. I am really hoping that the men will lead the charge in the ring with Morrison doing his crazy moves and Dolph busting off his own style. I expect the women to bump for each other’s finishers where I’m betting Laycool will eat Trish and ugh... Snooki’s Stratusfaction in Stereo. Expect outside interference from Vickie Guerrero and bad catfight stunts and botched moves from the women, especially with Snooki.


PREDICTION:
I hope and pray this match will only last ten minutes tops... or less that is, if for some insane reason the girls will be involved at a minimal and Snooki lands the eventual pinfall. I can’t see the faces losing here especially since Wrestlemania guests for some insane reason score a near-flawless record at these events.


JOHN MORRISON, TRISH STRATUS, AND SNOOKI WINS!!!


Mainstream entertainment is feeding on this and this pretty much is important to this company right now. However, the more fans that cringe at the sight of Snooki wrestling is the more joyous the face of Vince McMahon will be!

Game over!

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