Ip Man to Man



I have this friend who has this absurd man-fetish on Donnie Yen.

If you’re not familiar with Hong Kong cinema, he is IP MAN. He also starred on a bunch of American-produced films like Shanghai Knights, where he played an evil Chinese diplomat that knows martial arts and Blade 2, where he played a Chinese vampire slayer that knows martial arts.




Anyway, this friend celebrates Donnie Yen’s birthday as if it’s Christmas.

Yes, he has a devotion that would even freak out the actual Donnie Yen. For days he has been targeting random people on the fact that July 27 is Donnie Yen Day!

I will not judge him. While I think that it’s kind of fruity, I will give him the satisfaction of showing up to work dressed like a sifu while plastering my Facebook wall with Donnie Yen trivia. I will use the power of my blog to distribute the awesomeness of his hero to the residents of cyberlandia!

For one day I will blog something about Donnie Yen and people would see him differently. I’m going to unfairly (or fairly) compare Donnie Yen to a popular HK/Taiwanese/Chinese personality. I will then give you Donnie Yen images and even Donnie Yen action showcase.

This seems fair enough.





DONNIE YEN VERSUS BRUCE LEE
Donnie Yen basically mimics Bruce Lee from hairstyle to fighting to look to gnarl. It’s unfair for Donnie Yen to get compared to Bruce F’N Lee but he’s the closest thing when it comes to serious Chinese action heroes that haven’t been overly mutilated by Hollywood. The only thing going right for Donnie Yen is that he is still alive and there’s a possibility that he can accomplish more. At 48 though, he needs to carve something awesome to cement his legacy.



DONNIE YEN VERSUS JACKIE CHAN
Just like in Bruce Lee’s case, this is a mismatch. Jackie Chan carved a niche in bringing in audiences with his delightful style of Kung Fu. Besides, didn’t Jackie Chan defeat Donnie Yen by shooting cannon to his face?



DONNIE YEN VERSUS SAMMO HUNG
Sammo is a bigger superstar than Donnie Yen physically and figuratively. Sammo’s Kung Fu is fun to watch and in some ways it’s distinct because not everyone can bust those moves... and he’s fat! In terms of American exposure, Sammo Hung kissed Kelly Wu in the TV series Martial Law. How is this relevant? I have no idea.



DONNIE YEN VERSUS JET LI
Now this is where it gets interesting. Jet Li had a great appearance in Lethal Weapon 4 after a successful run in the Once Upon in China series has had flops. Meanwhile Donnie Yen’s IP MAN is putting his name on the map. While I still think Jet Li is the bigger of the two star-wise, Donnie Yen is kind of creeping in.



DONNIE YEN VERSUS STEPHEN CHOW
If Donnie Yen followed the serious striker path of Bruce Lee and Jet Li, Chow took on the Jackie Chan route and became successful with it. Sure, Chow insists his man-crush for Bruce Lee is his basis for what he is now but he is getting his fans from those crazy and highly-entertaining flicks. While CJ7 was a waste of time and Dragonball Evolution is garbage (Chow was partly responsible for both movies), Chow wins the faceoff because he brought more characters and also fanfare. 

Although… Donnie Yen did this!





DONNIE YEN VERSUS YUEN BIAO
It pains me to say this because Yuen Biao is one of my favorite HK stars but somewhere along the way he got lost and never got the star status his buddies Jackie and Sammo had. If he just had a character like what Donnie Yen has at the moment, Yuen Biao wouldn’t have lost this.



DONNIE YEN VERSUS CHOW YUN FAT
Donnie Yen will never lose to that fag. Yes, I am pissed because he was playing really, really creepy gay roles in Hong Kong and then when he came to America, he became synonymous to John Woo! And then he agreed to play the part (bastardize) of Master Buten on Dragonball Evolution! Actually, I would even pick the Magic To Win guy over Chow Yun Fat!



DONNIE YEN VERSUS CYNTHIA LUSTER
Cynthia Luster looks scary but Donnie Yen has a larger star than Cynthia Luster. Have you ever seen the Pinoy art film called Pintsik? Cynthia Luster was momentarily defeated by Herbert Bautista, Keempee de Leon, and Smokey Manaloto! Donnie Yen will never be defeated by Herbert Bautista, Keempee de Leon, and Smokey Manaloto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also there’s another movie whose name escapes me where Cynthia Luster put on a hard fight against Vic Sotto, Yoyong Martirez, Richie D’ Horsie, and Larry “Pipoy” Silva. Donnie Yen would have quickly finished Vic Sotto, Yoyong Martirez, Richie D’ Horsie, and Larry “Pipoy” Silva!!!!!!!!!!!!



DONNIE YEN VERSUS THE LITTLE SHAOLINS
Donnie Yen would have made the serious thin monk kid bleed to death and would have defeated the corny fat kid with his testicles.  



DONNIE YEN VERSUS F4
In terms of chick following, F4 rules. In terms of gay following... hmmm. If these pictures turn you on, then Donnie Yen’s gay popularity has just increased.






AHAHAY!!!

Hopefully people will get enlightened by reading my blog. This is not meant to diss people but I just want to state what the hell I want to pronounce.




Game over! 

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