Italian Spiderman vs Japanese Spiderman
Remember when I made you see Turkish Rambo?
That guy was something, huh? It felt like monkey poop combined with elephant shit and when it combined it transformed into the air that you’re breathing in.
Now I’m going to make see two sets of web-crawlers. If only there is a German Spiderman, then we have completed the Axis Powers. Unfortunately the only Peter Parker incarnations we have are Italian and Japanese.
Of course the American version is better. BY A MILE IT’S BETTER! No officemate would sneak behind your back and bother you with words like “what the hell” and “holy fuck”. The simple story of Peter Parker getting bitten by a radioactive arachnid whose romantic endeavours to lure Mary Jane Watson to his world is dampened by that eternal maxim “With great powers come great responsibility” is cached to our minds like how our necks are attached to our heads. However, to appreciate Spidermen of foreign countries, we must factor in the fact that they might find “altering the story” suited to their culture.
Despite the idiocy chimed by the concept, we have two characters that you need to check out.
THE JAPANESE SPIDERMAN
The Japanese Spiderman is a vigilante just like the American version but he is loaded. I mean... the guy has a F’N robot! This is not like Bioman or something or Shaider for that matter where the people need to be an alien or have parts that belong to an alien! Nor this is not like the US version where Parker’s photo gig’s pay is too small for him to have a place other than his aunt’s. Sure, he could be a simple cop a la Ultraman but I refuse to believe the government would entrust a weapon of that magnitude to that scrawny creature! The guy is like a ninja in terms of movements and he has a mecha-like theme song. Despite the eye part of the costume is smaller (they are Japanese after all) the suit was faithful with the American version.
If he has a sidekick a la Boknoy the Fighting Ball, he’ll have my vote of awesomeness!
THE ITALIAN SPIDERMAN
Meanwhile, the Italian Spiderman is the exact opposite of the American AND the Japanese Spiderman. Sure, he helps people but he is fat, he is snarky, he looks uneducated, selfish, and he smokes! He likes them biatches dogging his shlong and he has that 70’s porno moustache. The dude flies and has...
Just watch the clip.
Before you get wet in anticipation of the newest Spiderman movie, have you decided on whom to root for? The guy that looks like a fatter Ron Jeremy... or the guy that looks like a monkey crap version of Spiderman?
Hopefully for all our sakes, Spiderman 4 will not become a travesty.